Lord Buckethead on Education

During the election campaign I was asked on Twitter to elucidate upon my schools policy, but such a weighty issue deserves more than a piffling 140 characters and so I gladly offer my views here on my official website. (Accept no substitutes).

Investment in new grammar schools is a bad idea. Even a modest amount of research reading makes it clear that Earth education specialists believe that this would be a retrograde step. Instead, a Buckethead government would seek a third way with a wave of brand new Gamma Schools, founded on 3 key principles:

  1. better pay for teachers to attract bright graduates.

  2. increased facilities for children including more playing fields.

  3. any child caught misbehaving three times will be blasted into deep space, with the parents offered a lovely fruit basket by way of consolation or celebration, depending on the child

Discipline is a huge issue in schools, but that should do the trick.